Marriage bed undefiled, as recorded in the last chapter of the book of Hebrews, chapter 13, concludes with a number of advices for Christians. The marriage bed is to be unharmed, and God will judge fornicators and adulterers, according to verse 4 of the Bible (NASB).

Only four times in the New Testament does the Greek word for “undefiled” appear in this precise form; it denotes “uncontaminated” or “put apart.” Jesus Christ, our high priest, is referred to by this term in Hebrews 7:26, while James 1:27 states that a “undefiled” religion is one that supports widows and orphans while remaining untarnished by the outside world.


The marriage bed must be maintained uncontaminated or pure. In other words, a husband and wife should be the only ones to have sexual intimacy.

God intended for a husband and a wife to have a sexual relationship. Period. Only. Other forms of sexual activity are never approved in the Bible. It is impure to abuse or misuse God’s gift of sex and contaminate the bed of marriage.

There are various ways to pollute a marriage bed.

1. Adultery

God considers a sexual union to be adultery if either party—or both—are already married. Under God’s Old Covenant with Israel, adultery was a capital offence (Deuteronomy 22:22; Leviticus 20:10).

Adultery remains high on God’s list of moral evils, even though we no longer live under that covenant (Matthew 5:28–32). It is also consistently mentioned as a sin that prevents unrepentant offenders from inheriting the kingdom of God (Galatians 5:19; 1 Corinthians 6:9).

2. Fornication

When two single individuals have sex, they are profaning God’s wonderful gift of sex. No one has the right to take advantage of the fulfilment of a pledge that has not been made in a legally binding lifetime union.

When a couple makes a sacred vow with one another, sexual activity is meant to be the last act of consecration. The dignified institution of marriage is dishonoured by any forms of sexuality that take place outside of a marriage partnership (1 Corinthians 6:18).

3. Prostitution

The disaster that befalls a young man who permits himself to be deceived by a harlot is described in depth in Proverbs 7.

Harlotry is frequently used as a metaphor for Israel’s unfaithfulness (Hosea 4:15; Jeremiah 3:8; Judges 8:33). Because the marriage bed is sacred, Christians are cautioned to stay away from such immoral behaviour (1 Corinthians 6:15–16; Ephesians 5:3).

4. Homosexuality

Men having sex with men or women having sex with women is a perversion that defiles the marriage bed. Despite the widespread acceptance of homosexuality in our society today, God has never approved of or given His blessing to such a heinous behaviour.

Being homophobic distorts God’s gift of physical union between husband and wife and is the only sexual behaviour that is considered to be abominable (Leviticus 20:13).

Given that it is included in the list of crimes that keep the unrepentant outside of God’s kingdom, the prohibition against homosexuality continues into the New Covenant (1 Corinthians 6:9; 1 Timothy 1:9–10; Jude 1:7).

5. Pornography

An increasingly popular technique to contaminate the marriage bed is to use pornography for sexual enjoyment. Sexting, using other sexually explicit materials, and pornographic media also violate the sacredness of a man and wife’s sexual relationship.

Even if it’s just via the eyes, porn has the effect of bringing strangers into the bedroom. Jesus forewarned that the act of looking at a woman out of lust is akin to adultery in the eyes of God (Matthew 5:28).

Although pornography has turned sexual hunger into an art form, it nonetheless corrupts the heart and defiles the act of sexuality.

God intended for humans to be sinless in both body and spirit. That purity included the husband and wife’s sexual union (Genesis 2:24–25). Sexuality was contaminated along with everything else when Adam and Eve sinned.

Jesus’ sacrificial death on the cross provided the means for regaining that purity (2 Corinthians 5:21). No sin is too grave for the power of that atoning death and resurrection to forgive, including sexual immorality.

God can restore sexual purity and holiness even though we may have polluted the marriage bed in many ways when we confess our sins and make a sincere effort to live for Him (Psalm 51:7; 1 John 1:7).

The Negative Effects Of Defiling The Marriage Bed

It is not the bed you have in your bedroom; rather, it is the sexual union you share with your partner. The covenant you make on your wedding night is something holy. This is the link that unites you and your partner.
According to the Bible, marriage is honourable in all respects and the bed is pure (Hebrews 13:4 emphasis mine).

Marriage was created to bestow special honour on a man. However, Hebrews 13:4 reveals that God places a requirement on honour: the bed must be unpolluted. The filth of sexual immorality lies in the marriage bed. There is more to having a sexual connection than meets the eye, regardless of whether you are married or not.


Only when couples are married does guilt not accompany sexual activity. The quickest way to feel ashamed in marriage, whether you are marrying the other person or not, is to defile the marriage bed as a single person.

Do not assume that because you are single and not married, you are not soiled any beds. This might be the devil tricking people.

The Bible is very clear about this: “Flee fornication,” “Every evil a man commits is without the body,” “But he who commits fornication sinneth against his own body,” etc. You are not your own; your body is the Holy Ghost’s temple. (I Corinthians 6:18, 19).

You are not your own; rather, you are the property of God, who will grant you to the man you deserve. No man and woman are allowed to have sexual relations according to the scriptures before the wedding vows are exchanged and the marriage ceremony is formally recognized.

Adultery is a very serious sin that God disapproves of in married people. The Bible describes it as having an extramarital affair (Leviticus.20:10). If a man or woman is married and engages in sexual activity with someone other than their husband, they have committed adultery. God will punish everyone who does this.

Extramarital relationships do not just happen; there are a number of reasons that could set them off in someone who is not susceptible to the devil’s tricks. The most important element is Covetousness.

Covetous is defined as having an excessive desire for something, particularly something that belongs to someone else, in the Cambridge Advanced Learners Dictionary. One of the things God particularly instructed Moses to caution the children of Israel against is covetousness (Exodus 20:17).

Many more bad things, including sexual sin, could result from this act. Covetousness is what leads you to believe that a woman outside is more attractive and superior to your wife.

A covetous woman would also always favour another man over her husband because she believes he is wealthier or more attractive. Covetous single women will sell their bodies for money because they are not happy with what they already have.

Wrong associations are another element that may contribute to sexual immorality. Who are your close friends? Your life pattern will be determined by the friends you choose to maintain. Many married and unmarried people nowadays were exposed to this perverse lifestyle through lousy companions. Do not be fooled, the Word of God warns: “Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33 NIV).

You will be startled to learn that you will rapidly lose your marital dignity, no matter how good you may believe you are, if your circle of acquaintances includes people who have no respect for the “marriage bed.”

Only the power found in the Blood of Jesus Christ can defeat this nature. You will be saved if you surrender your life to Him. Please say this prayer in faith, if you are prepared: Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today, I am a sinner. Please pardon my sins. For my sins, I believe You died and resurrected on the third day. You are welcome to be my Lord and Savior. Today, make me a child of God.

Keeping Your Marriage Bed Undefiled

In our English of the twenty-first century, the word “undefiled” is not frequently used. But the fact that it appears in the Bible 12 times is what matters most. Even though we might not use the term much these days, we shouldn’t take it lightly because God values it. That is especially true in relation to Hebrews 13:4 and the marriage bed:

God will judge those who engage in sexual immorality and adultery, so let marriage be respected by all parties and the marriage bed remain pure. in Hebrews 13:4

In other words, a husband and wife should be the only ones to enjoy the sexual intimacy they share. God intended for a husband and a wife to have a sexual relationship. Period. Only. Other forms of sexual activity are never approved in the Bible. God’s gift of sex can only be misused or abused, and this defiles the marriage bed.

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The Undefiled Marriage Bed

Why are so many “Christian” couples being torn apart by sexual sin, especially pornography, when there is such a clear Biblical commandment (which Christ-followers are pledged in principle to follow)? According to recent studies, there are more people using porn in churches than most Christians realise.

The information below is not being provided to criticize or lay blame. We are doing this to make clear what is taking place and how to rid oneself of sin. In our book, my tale is told by me, Steve.

When I discovered my dad’s stockpile of porn at the tender age of twelve, it began for me, as it does for many males. I became hooked right away. It took over my life for the entirety of my adolescence. I believed that after I married Cindy (at the age of 22), I could quit.

When I turned 24 and became a Christian, I firmly believed that Christ would cure me of my addiction right away. However, I saw sawed for many more years between extended stretches of cleanliness and then relapsed into my “hidden sin.” The shame and remorse were crippling.

Yes, this had an impact on our relationship since Cindy suffered a great deal every time I violated our marital bed. She was aware of my desire to be both thinking and action pure and free from this nefarious evil. She was patient, which was a blessing. My regret and embarrassment increased when I realised how much it wounded her.

So how did I finally manage to release myself and find healing? I became “sick and tired” of dwelling on my sin. Then, I began to take my relationship with God seriously.

Possessing the Courage to Break Free

Marriage-related publications and seminars have their place and usefulness, but by themselves, they ignore the main problem. But the important question isn’t HOW to. Most frequently, it comes down to whether we have the HEART to.

Before we will genuinely take the initiative to learn how to change negative behaviour, we must have the heart to change. For there to be any sort of lasting change, that is what it will take. We will eventually revert to it if we don’t intentionally change our ways of thinking and behaving.

When I decided that I truly wanted to be free, I understood that accountability would be the key. I had to disclose my transgression to a second (godly) guy who would hold me accountable for staying on the straight and narrow of biblical chastity.

This is another reason why Cindy and I are so committed to using a technology like COVENANT EYES (filtering software for all electronic media).

The phrase “A porn free marriage is a strong marriage” comes to mind. It is THE BEST approach to maintain accountability while pursuing purity. However, that marked the start of the journey to preserve our marital bed going forward.

Getting to Know My Sin

I spent more than 30 years as a porn and sex addict. I understood my addiction. Moreover, I wished to avoid addiction. After praying for victory, I would actually experience triumph.

But after that, I would again give in to temptation. To put it mildly, it was torturous. I resembled a dog that goes back to its own vomit (Proverbs 26:11).

I can completely relate to the anxiety the Apostle Paul described when he remarked, “I do not understand what I do. I don’t do what I want to, but I do what I don’t like. (Romans 7:15) I abhorred what I was doing utterly. But I still did it! There is no way to defend this conduct.

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I was like other Christian guys who battle with this, as I discuss in our book. I would cry out to God and beg Him to take this away from me. My prayers seemed to be echoing off the ceiling.

I was certain that I was the only Christian man in my church and the ministry who was struggling with this issue. Sadly, I now realise that I wasn’t. But I unquestionably needed to free myself from this sin’s shackles.

At a turning point, I finally gave everything up and had the “heart to” put in the effort required to free myself from this wicked addiction.

That is when I felt the humiliation leave me and the courage to deal with my addiction begin to set in. It took time; this was just the beginning. Amazing mental clarity emerged after I began examining the hold this had over me.

Addictive Nature of Porn

For a very long time, I didn’t fully comprehend the science underlying my addiction:

Pornography has an addictive quality. Porn is quite similar to a drug. To achieve the same high, you will require an increasing dose.

According to research, even non-sex addicts who watch pornography have brain changes during PET scans that are comparable to those caused by cocaine use. The effects of pornography are strong, addictive, and long-lasting in the brain.

Even infrequent consumers of pornography exhibit considerable effects. In a number of studies, researchers found that those exposed to porn for just six one-hour sessions a week had various notable alterations.

Imagine what those men and women are going through when they indulge for twelve, twenty, or more hours each week. “Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage,” by Mark Gungor

I also didn’t know how to stop watching porn. And yes, I acknowledged that it was sin and that I had disobeyed God and my wife, which is why I felt guilty and ashamed.

Amazing mental clarity emerged after I began examining the hold this had over me. Here are some noteworthy guidelines that illustrate what I discovered, for example:

Have You Noticed?

The windows of your soul are found in your eyes. What you expose yourself to again and over again will have an impact on your actions, imagination, and ultimately, character.

You should be aware of these three things regarding pornography. It is (1) addicting. Gail Hoone, a family therapist, asserted that pornography is more addictive than pharmaceuticals. And it’s expanding every day, owing to the First Amendment. (2) It’s egotistical. Pornoculture teaches you to view other people as toys to be used for one single reason: self-gratification. Nothing about intimacy, accountability, or commitment even comes close. (3) It humiliates. Pornography doesn’t ring a bell and scream, “Unclean! Unclean!” way the lepers in the Bible did.

However, when it has you in its grip, you discover that you react to it in ways that make you feel degraded and disgusting. There is good news, though. Jesus healed every leper who came to him. You can also be cleansed by His blood! Additionally, His Spirit can enable you to “throw down every aspiration and capture every thought” (2 Corinthians 10:5). (Extracted from Word for You Today, a devotional)

So finding an accountability partner was crucial to taking control of my ideas. I had a monthly meeting with this accountability partner, who pressed me on my morality. He was allowed to phone me whenever he wanted to see how I was doing in between our encounters.

But another crucial step was to “throw down every idea,” as the scripture above states (lustful thought). And enslave all lusty thoughts. But because it was what I had always had trouble with, how was I going to go about doing this?

Making “The Plan” work

Thank God I found Every Man’s Battle through God. “Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time” is the subtitle. Fred Stoeker and Stephen Arterburn are the authors.

If I had to choose just one book that I believe all men ought to read, this would be it. An open, direct discussion of sexual temptation and lust is provided by Arterburn and Stoeker.

Their writing is based on personal experience. In addition, they draw on the accounts of numerous more males. They provide a doable, thorough approach for males who want to be sexually pure, and that was what really helped me.

I clung to that strategy and applied it to my own life. It’s actually astonishing how my brain almost retrained itself after that. But I give God the glory for assisting me in making the necessary modifications by using their plan as a tool. The changes I had to make weren’t simple, but they were absolutely important. I could write tens of thousands more words on this, but I won’t.

Keeping Your Marriage Bed Safe

The four simple actions I took to accelerate my recuperation are listed below. If you want the same healing, I suggest you try this one:

  • God must be told of your sin. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge all the ugly you have allowed to permeate your thoughts and deeds. Inform Him that you are sick and tired of being bound in this bondage. Additionally, tell Him that you’ll do whatever it takes to be set free and STAY set free so that your marriage bed remains pure moving forward.
  • Request from God the “Heart To” persevere and delve more deeply into His Word.
  • Accept responsibility. Start by using software like COVENANT EYES that monitors all online activities. Then, look for another godly man who can assist you in staying on course. It must be someone who, if he discovered you lying or reverting to bad habits, would not be hesitant to confront you.
  • Create a strategy similar to the one described in Every Man’s Battle. Try everything you can to keep your marriage bed safe. The best method to safeguard your intimate marriage is to draw nearer to God. Here is a fantastic article that will aid you on your quest:

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